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The Baby Boomer generation set many precedents. One of the most stressful of those new ways of living includes acting as the "sandwich" generation, caring for our children while also caring for our aging parents.
Interestingly there seems to be one child who takes on the bulk of the responsibility of caring for parents even in families with multiple children.
Everyone plays a unique role in this world. Each of us has a unique path. No one is right. No one is wrong. Life just is and we each do what we each do.
Sometimes life seems unfair. The fact is we create our world according to our thoughts which lead to beliefs. As we repeat those beliefs and they become ingrained, we live on automatic. Beliefs then become habits.
Some people live the habit "I am here to take care of whoever needs care." Others believe care-taking is for someone else who is more skilled, with more time, whatever they tell themselves.
Some choices in life are more difficult to make than others. Handling parental care as the parent declines physically and mentally becomes both a challenge and a gift. As with anything and everything in life, events just are. How we interpret them gives them power over us unless we take power over how we see them.
When people see life as unfair, they choose to make the situation about themselves. They become victims, seemingly with no ability to do what they want with their lives. Those who see life as service, see life as livable. They know it is never really about them and is always about the other person and how to serve them.
I am not saying every moment is easy. I am saying every task becomes a gift of the heart that brings peace in the big picture. Love becomes the most potent force when dealing with the issues that arise watching a parent decline and one's own life change direction during the care-giving process.
The words we use when talking to ourselves determine our happiness, our stress levels and our health. People who use the word "unfair" basically tell the world they view themselves as victims. Victims see that others do not do their part, others get better deals in life, others are not coming through for them, etc. People who find the gift in every little and big life event, find the path to joy in their spirit.
I know because I went from victim to server during the last ten months of my mom's life.
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